the weight

Many families have Christmas traditions.  Some families open presents on Christmas Eve.  Some wait until morning.  At our house, we’d wait.  See, Santa always made late-night special deliveries.  We'd awaken to open treasures unseen before Christmas morn…

But on Christmas Eve, my parents would allow my sisters and me to open one present.  Just one.  It was the best part of the night!  After delicious dinner and before boring church.  Of course I'd have already picked out the "best" present to unwrap HOURS before. 

I'd use a very scientific method:  The one that felt the heaviest. 

One year a large box mysteriously appeared early in the evening.  It surprised me.  I’d only taken my eyes off the Christmas tree when I closed them to sleep!  Suddenly, there it was!  Beaming beneath the lighted tree.  I just needed to feel it without my parents seeing me…

So just as the Aunts and Uncles arrived in their church clothes, holding their polite gifts…

                     ...I picked up the box and shook it!             

                                              THUMP!  THUMP!!  THUMP!!! 

                                                                               :::GASP:::  
 

It’s to me, from my parents… 

IT’S GOT TO BE THAT VIDEO GAME CONSOLE!

I immediately shoved the present back under the tree… just in time to greet the arriving family members. 

Don’t look suspicious.  Just act normal.  Just be cool.  Calm.  Collected.

Casual.

That seemed impossible now.

I didn't even hear what Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jay said as they squeezed the Merry Christmas out of me.  I'm quite sure it had something to do with how handsome I was/How much I'd grown since the last time they saw me/How they remembered when I...  blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!

 I didn't care.  All I could think about was that present! 

Then Grandma and Grandpa arrived, and the whole ritual repeated all over again. 

"Look how handsome you are/How much you've grown/I remember when you..."  

This was torture! 

And just when I thought Greetings of Yuletide Cheer were complete, my Oma and Opa opened the door, and we were back on the “Merry Christmas”-Go-Round!  Kisses.  Hugs.  Kisses.  Hugs.  Spin.  Repeat.

It would be another 53 minutes and 13 seconds before I FINALLY got to hug the only thing I really cared about…

MY PRECIOUS! 

Dinner was a blur.  I was completely obsessed with opening that present.  I think somebody said grace.  I pretend prayed.  Eyes closed as cover. 

Why should I pray?  MY prayers had already been answered!

Obviously, I ate all my vegetables.  My parents didn't even have to ask!  ANYTHING to please them.  They were saints!  I said, "Please," and "Thank you,”  and finished my whole plate.  We were all going to church at midnight, and no one wanted to get too full and fall asleep.  I couldn’t fall asleep even if I wanted to!  I waited patiently to be excused.  I couldn’t sit still.  I was anxious.  I was antsy.  I WAS AMPED!!

MY TREASURE! 

I just wanted to rip into that present right then and there, skip church, and play with my game all night!  Until the sun came up!  Me and Santa, battling head-to-head!  Mom serving us muffins in the morning... 

BEST.  CHRISTMAS.  EVER. 

And maybe it was.  After all, I still have what I got from my parents that night.  And I still use it all the time…

But it’s not the video game console.  It wasn’t even a game.

When I finally tore into that present, I was crestfallen.  My heart sank.  I thought my parents had tricked me.  They started laughing at me!  I could feel the blood rushing to my ears… then the big, wet tears… 

THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANTED?  I HATE THIS!           

Later, as I sat in that painful pew at Midnight Mass, I prayed that tomorrow would FINALLY be the day for me…

Prayed for Santa’s Late-Night Special Delivery Service to come through…

Prayed to TRANSFORM THAT DUMB OL’ DICTIONARY I had opened into…

MY INCREDIBLY VICIOUS VIDEO GAME!! 

Please, God?  PLEASE!?  PLEASE!!   

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz...  I prayed so hard I finally fell asleep on my mother's shoulder.  My sleepy saliva, like translucent tinsel decorating our Christmas sweaters….

In the end, I had no need to ask for God’s help.  I was lucky enough to be born with wonderful parents who spoiled me on Christmas. 

I got it.

But ask me if I still have that AWESOME-MOST-INCREDIBLY-VICIOUS VIDEO GAME… 

Nope.  I outgrew it by the 9th grade.  Sold it at a yard sale with some stuffed animals... 

But that Dumb Ol' Dictionary helped me all through middle school.  All through high school.  All through college. 

All through graduate school…

And I couldn't have made it (or this) without it!

"out to where but the rocks remain"

"(Talk to Me of) Mendocino"

McGarrigle Sisters

HEADS, I WIN...TAILS, YOU LOSE!

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CHAHAHUI!!

ST. LOUIS & THE BEAT-UP MUSTANGS at BLUE CAFE,

LONG BEACH, 4/9/11

in case you missed it...

THE THINGZ at THE HOUSE OF BLUES, HOLLYWOOD

JANUARY 7, 2011

                                                

BEWARE! THE KOCHTOPUS!

following up my post on the koch brothers...  here's a great video of senator bernie sanders describing the koch brothers 'echo chamber' that repeats and amplifies right-wing orthodoxy until it penetrates mainstream media outlets...

the blame game

(tip o' the energy dome to my colleague linda for the cartoon.)

Q:  who's the only stake-holder in public education that ISN'T held accountable?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

HOPE YOUR NEW YEAR HAS STARTED OFF AS WELL AS MINE... CHECK IT:
THE THINGZ ARE PLAYING THE HOLLYWOOD HOUSE OF BLUES MAIN STAGE TONIGHT!!
I'M SO EXCITED!!! 
HERE'S A VIDEO SHOT RECENTLY FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN'T GONNA MAKE IT... :)

MERRY XMAS!!

              Live at The Redwood Bar in LA, 12/12/10

actually, this year i DID get what i wanted for xmas:
tickets to today's game versus the heat!  i might be on TV!!
                              GO LAKERS!!!

in case you missed this...

we'll be playing the double down in vegas, january 15...
come rock out with us!

deep thought

i'm reading a biography of louis armstrong to my class.  we were discussing jim crow laws, and one of my students asked:

mr. c, do you think if martin luther king hadn't done what he did for african americans, we'd [latinos] have to drink from different water fountains and go to separate schools too?

hmmm...

memoir recommendation

here's a great memoir i shared with my class on friday called,
"the halloween that ended my childhood," by ann hood.

it's definitely more sophisticated than my christmas piece
(see "the weight of words"), and a bit longer, but a nice mentor text for my students (and me) to learn from nonetheless.

enjoy!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

this week's treasure moment

while discussing a part in ramona the pest where she doesn't want to chase davey, the boy she's spent the last couple of chapters trying to kiss, i had my students write what ramona was thinking, as if they were her.

one of my girls wrote,

i don't need to chase you. in a few years, you'll be chasing me!

so true. 5th graders are hilarious!

harry reid is THE MAN!

i wonder if sharon angle supporters would feel the same way about harry reid if they read this.

after all, he was the guy that actually ran the mob out of las vegas in the late 70's. (remember casino?)

he was a boxer, whose fistfight opponents included his father and father-in-law (the former, after he'd been beating up on his mom, and the latter because he didn't want his daughter to marry harry).

of course he's a hero to liberals (or should be) because he successfully blocked bush from privatizing social security after his 2004 reelection (and before wall street went bust).

but the thing that resonated with me the most was reid's take on meeting bush in the oval office:

"I never went to Kennebunkport as a kid,” Reid recalls. “I never went anywhere. And I’ve got no blue blood in my veins, just some desert sand. So as he and I sat there in the Oval Office, I said little in return.”

there's more, but suffice to say, the caricature of a wimpy, milquetoast, meek guy who needs to "man up,"* is completely destroyed by the facts.


*incidentally, doesn't "man up" mean to go from a zone defense to man-on-man? i don't think these people think so... but maybe i've just been watching too much basketball...

INVASION OF THE BROWN MARMORATED STINK BUGS!!!

i heard about this a few weeks ago when steve benen wrote about them at the washington monthly. i thought it was a very instructive piece about the right-wing agenda in this country, specifically, the reiteration and amplification of reagan's proclamation 30 years ago that, "government is the problem."

according to the washington post, these titular stink bugs (halyomorpha halys) have been destroying enough flora along the eastern seaboard that 15 congressmen have asked the USDA and EPA to step in to help farmers and local industries deal with the problem.

the best part is, of the 15 lawmakers, 8 are republican...

BENEN (9/26/10): In other words, faced with a [sic] environmental problem, the first instinct from conservative Republican politicians is to ask the federal government to do something. Indeed, they're specifically asking for federal bureaucrats to sweep into action and use expanded federal regulations to help people.

Hmm.

There seems to be a bit of disconnect here between Republican ideology and real-world problems. On the one hand, conservative lawmakers like Bartlett hate "big government," the EPA, federal regulations, and government bureaucrats. This year, plenty of GOP candidates are talking about eliminating the EPA, firing parts of the federal workforce, scrapping regulations, and slashing spending on various agencies.

Shouldn't conservative lawmakers, right about now, expect the free market to offer a solution to the stink-bug problem? Why hasn't the GOP offered everyone a tax credit for fly swatters and facemasks? Why aren't Tenthers running around demanding to know where, exactly, the Constitution empowers the federal government to deal with an insect infestation?

there's more, but it always bugs me ::ahem:: when conservatives pretend that government can do no good, that the free market is always the best solution, and that regulations are socialist.

they know better.

yet we've heard this same refrain on a variety of topics--from social security to health care, medicare to medicaid--for the past 30 years from the right-wing.

this just demonstrates that their claims are disingenuous at best.

too bad i can't get the EPA to regulate the stink of THEIR B.S...

a must-read

here's jane mayer's brilliant new yorker expose of the billionaire koch brothers' ever-expanding, increasingly-influential "kochtopus" that has been bank-rolling an anti-democratic agenda (including the current tea party movement) for the last 30 years in our country.

this piece is important to read because these guys prefer to stay anonymous, while very visible "actors" (tv talking heads, politicians, and their supporters) play out the scripts that their think tanks write to forward their pro-business agenda...

it's all very disheartening for someone like myself who believes that the people, not the powerful, should control the destiny of this country.

it's on like donkey kong!

the thingz at "the great pumpkin bash,"
malone's bar & grill
10/15/10

last week's treasure moment

i'm reading ramona the pest to my class. while discussing a part where ramona doesn't want to share with her neighbor, howie, i asked my students to write about a time when they didn't want to share with someone...

here's what i found in one of my student's reader's response notebook:

i like to share because sometimes i don't have the stuff that i need...

sweet and an independent thinker! i love my class this year!!

The Weight of Words

Many families have Christmas traditions. Some families open presents on Christmas Eve. Some wait until morning. In our family, Santa always made late-night deliveries, so we'd awake to find heretofore unseen treasures on Christmas morn. But on Christmas Eve, my parents would always allow my sisters and me to open one present. It was the best part of the night, after delicious dinner and before boring church. Of course I'd have already picked out the "best" present to unwrap hours before. I'd use a very scientific method: whichever one was the heaviest.

One year a mysterious box appeared early in the evening. And even though for the entire month of December I had been ever-so-attentive to the quantity of presents always present (as any 10-year-old worth his/her suburban salt would be), suddenly, there it was. Beaming beneath the lighted tree. So just as the Aunts and Uncles, in their church clothes with their polite gifts, arrived and embraced Mom & Dad, I seized my opportunity...

...I picked up the box and shook it!

THUMP! THUMP!!THUMP!!! :::GASP:::

It's from my parents...

It's got to be that game console!

Then, as quickly as I had grabbed it, I shoved the present back under the tree, just in time to greet the arriving family members without arousing suspicion. Just act normal. Just be cool. Calm. Collected.

That seemed impossible now.

I didn't even hear what Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jay said as they squeezed the Merry Christmas out of me. I'm quite sure it was something about how handsome I was/How much I'd grown/How they remembered when I... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... I didn't care. All I could think about was that present! Then Grandma and Grandpa arrived, and the whole ritual repeated all over again. "Look how handsome you are/How much you've grown/I remember when you..." This was torture! And just when I thought Greetings of Yuletide Cheer were complete, my Oma and Opa opened the door, and we were back on the “Merry Christmas”-Go-Round! It would be another 53 minutes and 13 seconds before I FINALLY got to hug the only thing I really cared about at that point... My Precious!

Dinner was a blur. I was completely obsessed with opening that present. I think somebody said grace, but I was pretend praying, eyes closed only to cover my covetous thoughts. Why should I pray? My prayers had already been answered. Obviously, I ate my vegetables--anything to please my Suddenly-Saintly Parents--they didn't even have to ask. I said, "Please," and "Thank you," and sat still even though I was feeling antsy. My TREASURE! We were all going to church at midnight, so we didn't want to get too full and fall asleep. But I would never fall asleep. I was too amped! I just wanted to rip into that present right then and there, skip church, and play with my game all night till the first light of Christmas day! Me and Santa, battling head-to-head, Mom serving us muffins in the morning...

BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER.

And maybe it was. After all, I still have what I got from Mom & Dad that night. And I still use it all the time.

But I didn't think so when I finally tore into it after dinner. I was crestfallen. I thought my parents had tricked me.

Later, as I sat in that painful pew at Midnight Mass, paying little heed to the impending Birth of Our Baby Savior, I prayed that tomorrow would FINALLY be The Big Day for me. Prayed for Christmas Day Redemption. Prayed to turn water into wine... to transform that Dumb Ol' Deceptively Heavy Dictionary into my INCREDIBLY VICIOUS VIDEO GAME! Please, God? PLEASE!? PLEASE!! PLEeeeezzzzzzzzzz... I prayed so hard I finally fell asleep on my mother's shoulder, my sleepy saliva, like translucent tinsel decorating our Christmas sweaters. At least I would provide the Preacher some Sunday morning sermon material for the following week (Typically, the least-attended Sunday of the year, so the "We're-all-children-of-God-resting-on-His-shoulders" fluff sermon wasn't heard by many besides my family and me). I guess in my passionate pleading to The Almighty to RECEIVE, I ended up GIVING after all.

And isn't that what Christmas should be about?

Ultimately, I had no need for divine intervention beyond being lucky enough to be born with wonderful parents who spoiled me on Christmas. But ask me if I still have that Awesome, Most-Viciously Gnarly Video Game… Nope. I outgrew it by the 9th grade. But that Dumb Ol' Dictionary helped me all through Middle & High School, College and Graduate School, and I couldn't have made it (or this) without it!